APE- Just apeing around
Hmm, that stands for assume, perceive and expect. Highly dangerous verbs they are. I’d like to leave some marks on this scratch post about how they affect our lives.
Assumption, in the first place, can lead to big mistakes, both in science and humanities. We all know that it’s wrong to just assume something but more often than not, we chose to assume something to keep things simple or save time. For example, X tells Y something important and assumes Y to know the implications of X’s statement. Y, on the other hand, assumes X has no further comments on the matter and considers the case closed.
There goes an argument. Just because X and Y both made different assumption, the matter is not attended to and a violent exchange of words occurs.
Back to what my real message is, don’t assume! People are almost always to busy to listen or read whatever’s between those lines. Tell or show them what it is. If you miss your mum, call her or better still go home and see her. If you want to see someone, ask them out for dinner. Don’t just wait there and expect to be asked and then if they don’t, you assume they have a problem.
Next, comes perception. I often perceive things the way I want them to be. It’s harmless actually, because I know it’s the way I see it and I don’t tell other people about my perceptions unless absolutely necessary. I assume they know anyway. My perceptions are pretty common and are mostly generalizations.
For example, I would think that, ermm, let’s say, people who smoke have no brains and probably has other nasty habits. But I can’t count the times that my perceptions have proven me wrong. Hey, I once thought Malay women were bald, that’s why they kept their heads covered (no offense, yea). Of course, that would be more like a misconception, or assumption. Or maybe I was just too dumb. Better example, I also had this perception that my friend (I won’t say who) was looking down on me because she literally did. Blinded by the rumors about her being arrogant, I was too young to notice that it was natural for her to be peering down at me over her nose simply because she was taller. Okay, that another dumb example.
I admit to having perceptions. I’m not saying it’s harmful either. Perceptions help me steer away from danger all the time. I’m aware that a lot of things that go about my mind are interpreted the way I subconsciously want them to be or in a way that conforms to what I perceive to be the majority’s perceptions. Therefore, I try my best to keep perceptions in check just to keep the wrong perceptions at bay.
Third, the big E for expect. I expect a lot of things out of other people. And then, when they don’t meet the expectations, I get mad, at them and sometimes at myself too. Ask yourself, how many times you’ve complained about your parents being 10 minutes late because you expected them to be on time. And then, when they give reasons for being late, you assume that you’re not their top priority? Never?
And then there’s the other side, what people expect from me. I try my best to meet their expectations but their often very much out of my control. So I’ve learnt this very important formula. Try, Compromise or Don’t Care. Haha, I’d love to use the third method, everytime. After all, what other people expect is none of my business. But don’t wanna break anyone’s heart either. No choice loh, try 1st then compromise. If really cannot, then only don’t care.
As long as you’re able to control the APE, you’re fine. Don’t say u don’t do APE. Everyone does……….
jiayeng
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11:31 PM
